The Daily Nues

SWAG VOTERS SCREWED BY OBAMA
09 November 2011

Today, President Obama signed an executive order which killed the freebies doled out by federal agencies as part of a plan to reduce bureaucratic waste. There’s one group of people that likely won’t be too happy because of it.

A Message from Swag Voters of America:

A new constituency is rising from the ashes of President Obama’s most recent executive order, which eliminated swag from federal agencies. They’re called swag voters, because they’re voting purely for the swag.

These are the people who collect their “I Voted” stickers throughout their electoral life, they hold onto old political yard signs and go to job fairs in search of swag from private companies and government agencies.

And today, President Obama wrote them off in 2012.

Don’t worry, though. A core faction of swag voters likely include the millions of unemployed Americans annoyed at the status quo of Washington, from House Republicans to Democrats in the White House.

Republican candidates, we want you to show some swag-ger. So get some yard signs, bumper stickers, buttons, hats and apparel to us because the Swag Voters are on the rise.

QUAKE STRIKES EAST COAST
23 August 2011