Friday’s Briefing Room
The Latest from the Interwebs
Donations save Fresno’s Veterans Day Parade
The 90-year tradition, Fresno’s Veterans Day Parade has been saved due to the generosity of an anonymous donor, Comcast and some local businesses. Organizer Bill Dietzel was close to pulling the plug on the event, citing there weren’t enough resources to keep it running. Through the donations, Dietzel has enough money to hold the 2010 parade and cushion for 2011.
The iPad hits the Grandparent generation
While Apple fanboys and rich folk have take a big share of the iPad market, it seems that the card-carrying members of the AARP are also finding their likes with Apple’s Shaq-sized iPhone. With a simple, yet intuitive device that even a caveman could use (Sorry GEICO) it seems to be beating out getting old Granny a PC for Christmas or a birthday.
Fresno State to take on Cincinnati
A return of a match up seen last year between Fresno State and Cincinnati (‘Dogs lost last year). Fresno State aims to return with out star running back Ryan Matthews amid an already heated athletic conference brawl. Tickets are still available for the game, which kicks off at 7PM on Saturday.
From The Onion: 8.4 million New Yorkers suddenly realize New York City a horrible place to live
At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.
With audible murmurs of “This is no way to live,” “What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here,” and “F*ck this place. F*ck this horrible place,” all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness.
By 5:15 p.m. there was gridlock traffic on the outbound sides of the Holland and Lincoln tunnels, and the area’s three major airports were flooded with New Yorkers, all of whom said they wanted to go anyplace where the pressure of 20 million tons of concrete wasn’t constantly suffocating them.